Resources & Tips
Questions
Frequently Asked by Parents
Would
any of these apply to YOU??
What to do if my spouse and I don't agree on discipline strategies?
How can you work as a team to set clear, consistent standards for your kids? How do you avoid sending mixed messages or letting them play one of you against the other? Here are eight guidelines to bear in mind: 
How can I help my shy child?
Most parents wish their kids would plunge into new situations and make friends easily. Instead shy and cautious children cling to our legs or hang on the sidelines. When someone they don’t know or are not comfortable with talks to them, they lower their eyes and don’t answer. When they refuse to try an unfamiliar activity, we push them to participate. We become disappointed, annoyed, or frustrated with them when they aren’t as outgoing as we’d like. Find out how to deal with these children and help them overcome their shyness.
How do you help your child cope with peer relationships?
Peer relationships are vital to children’s development. It’s the arena in which they learn to make decisions, to lead or follow, to become considerate and loyal, and to recover from mistakes. As parents we can have some influence over our children’s choice of friends. Here’s how you can be helpful while still encouraging your child’s independence.
My child loves to ask WHY -- do I always have to explain?
When Barbara became a parent, she swore she’d never utter the words “because I said so.” Her own parents had frequently responded to her questions that way, and she’d always resented it. But that was before she had an inquisitive child of her own. Now, as she races to get everyone out of the house in the morning, Barbara faces endless questions from four-year-old Natalie: “Why do I have to go to school? Why do you have to go work? Why can’t we stay home and play?
How do I stop my child from demanding everything he sees?
Nobody wants a greedy, insatiable, overly demanding child--but
do you know how to stop this kind of behavior? The way to cure the "gimmes" is
to know the difference between what our kids need and what they want.
I find myself bribing my kids to do things they need to do. How can I stop?
How many times have you offered your kids rewards for simple
things like eating their vegetables or cleaning their room? This kind
of bribery communicates loud and clear, "OK, I give up. I don’t
believe I can make you do what's right. So, what's it worth to you?"
How can I motivate my child to GET MOVING?
Dawdling comes as naturally to young kids as breathing.
While parents tend to focus on the future, young children live in the
moment and are totally absorbed by what they're doing. I often ask parents
how many times they’ve said “hurry up” or “come
on” to their kids during the week to try to get them out the door
on time.
Am I too wishy-washy?
Most parents don't worry about being too strict--they think
they're too lenient instead. Do you wonder if your parenting style is
too wishy-washy? If the following scenes sound like they could take place
in your house, you may need to work on being more authoritative.
How much TV is too much?
Before my first child was born, I watched one of my nephews
plopped in front of the TV set in a slack-jawed trance. If I tried to
talk to him, he wouldn't answer--he was literally tuned out. The sight
left a deep impression on me, so when I sensed that television was beginning
to take on too much importance in my sons' lives, I called a family meeting.
My kids are so different, one listens, one doesn't. What can I do?
I, too, like so many other parents was amazed by how little
each of my sons had in common. Though your children will be more different
than similar, it's important to avoid comparing them.
I only have one child and don't plan on having more. Am I being selfish?
If you're the parent of one child, you've probably heard
the negative rap about only children. A lot of people in our society
assume that an only child will be lonely because he doesn't have siblings,
selfish because he doesn't have to share his things with brothers and
sisters, and spoiled because he is lavished with undivided parental attention.
There is also a sense that the best thing parents can do for an only
is to present him with a brother or sister--that his experience of life
will always be incomplete without a sibling.
How can I instill a love of reading in my child?
Don't buy into the multimedia hype. I hear many parents
expressing the opinion that books have already lost the war against electronic
entertainment. These parents assume that, given a choice, children will
always pick TV, movies, computers, and electronic games over books. I
disagree. There has never before been such a varied and exciting marketplace
of books for kids of all ages. And the books are selling!
I find myself threatening my kids with unreasonable punishments. How do I stop?
Many parents turn to threats as a last resort when they
don't know what else to do. ("If you don't clean up your room right
now, you can forget about the circus this weekend"). But then you're
boxed in. You already bought the tickets! And you probably won't stick
to that irrational threat you made without thinking—so your credibility
goes down a notch. Who are you really punishing?
| More Solutions to Parents' FAQs can be found in Nancy's books and articles found below.
•How
to Know if your Child is Spoiled |
 •
Sibling RivalryLearn nine solutions for handling sibling rivalry. • Have Your Kids Take the Sibling Survey This unique questionnaire for parents to give their children will help parents better understand sibling and family relationships and offer clues to how kids really feel about their brothers and sisters. |
•Avoid
Spanking |
|
