Tips & Resources
Dealing With Dawdling:
Dawdling is one of
the most frustrating conflicts between parents and children. Why? Because
kids love to daydream and take their time. Parents need to be on time,
to be efficient and do things in a hurry. Unlike children, we can juggle
more than one thing at a time, while children can immerse themselves completely
in the moment. The result: daily power struggles that no one wins.
Don't assume that kids are dawdling just to drive you crazy (even if that's
the way it sometimes feels). Distinguish between what is intentional-when
they're delaying and holding up progress on purpose to annoy you-and what
comes naturally to children. Remember, most kids can't even tell time
until they're beyond kindergarten, so they have no sense of urgency.
Count the number of times between 7 and 8 A.M that you say "hurry
up," "come on," "stop dawdling," and "get
a move on." I'm sure you've noticed that the more you rush your children,
the slower they become. Instead, build in a few extra moments to avoid
daily morning madness. Give each child her own alarm clock so she is in
charge of waking herself up. It's helpful to have a regular routine during
the week that is consistent and predictable. If you're not a single parent,
enlist your spouse to help feed, dress and prepare kids for school or
take turns on different days.
Help your child form the habit of organizing before bedtime. Have him
lay out the next day's clothes, put homework in his backpack and place
it by the door, if you want to reduce last minute rushes in the morning.
Limit your children's choices at breakfast and in selecting clothes. If
you don't want them wearing their favorite down jacket in summer, or shorts
in winter, make sure those clothes are inaccessible.
And whenever you can, set aside a block of time when you can fully focus
on each child individually. Slow down, don't answer the phone, and borrow
from your child that special ability to be fully present in the moment.